In the aftermath of senseless tragedy like this week鈥檚 van attack in Toronto, the question of 鈥淲hy?鈥� is often the hardest to answer.
It鈥檚 a question lawyer and author Jamil Jivani recently grappled with as he wrote his new book entitled 鈥淲hy Young Men: Rage, Race and the Crisis of Identity.鈥� The book explores why it鈥檚 so often young men who resort to violence when grappling with a world they feel has treated them unfairly.
While details are only just beginning to emerge about the man accused in the Toronto attack, there has been some focus on a message posted on his Facebook page just minutes before the attack that refers to the 鈥渋ncel鈥� movement, an online group of men who feel victimized because they are involuntarily celibate.
Jivani told CTV鈥檚 Your Morning Wednesday he doesn鈥檛 think it matters what the van attacker鈥檚 precise motives were; the broader point is he felt his only outlet was violence.
鈥淚 think regardless of what we find out about this attack and the motivations, at the core of it, we have a young man who felt himself so victimized by our society that he could indiscriminately become violent against us and kill innocent people he didn鈥檛 know,鈥� he said.
鈥淭hat is a common thread in how a lot of violence occurs in our society, whether it鈥檚 terror attacks or gang violence: these young men who see themselves as justified in hurting others because of how much of a victim they see themselves to be.鈥�
Jivani worries it can be too easy for people 鈥� especially young people -- to grow to see themselves as the victims of unfairness. More worrisome are the many radical political and religious movements that are all too eager to allow young people to -- as Jivani says it -- 鈥渢urn that personal dissatisfaction into anger and hatred toward the world.鈥�
Jivani knows personally about the rage that many young men feel. He grew up with a largely absent father in a low-income, immigrant community in Toronto that faced significant problems with integration.
He looked up to the gangster posturing of the rap artists he listened to, and remembers wanting to channel his rage, even going so far as to almost buy himself a gun.
But Jivani walked away from the sale when he made the realization that buying that gun would force him to cross into a world he couldn鈥檛 return from -- a decision he realized that would touch everyone around him.
鈥淚 thought, 鈥楾his is going to affect my mom; it鈥檚 going to affect how she looks at me. I might lose her out of my life entirely. This is going to justify the unfair treatment police officers directed toward me and my community鈥�,鈥� he said.
" So I had to look at the impact of my decisions on others."
The Yale Law School graduate says learning that level of responsibility and stopping himself from falling into a victim narrative was 鈥渒ey鈥� to helping him change his view of the world.
That refusal to feel sorry for himself is what is helping Jivani deal with the toughest challenge he has ever faced. In February, just weeks before the release of his book, the 30-year-old Jivani was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin鈥檚 lymphoma. The cancer has spread to his bones, damaging his neck and spine and forcing him to wear a neck brace.
The devastating diagnosis at a time when he had reached what he calls 鈥渁 pinnacle鈥� of his professional life, has been like a 鈥渟ucker punch鈥� to the gut. But he鈥檚 trying to maintain a positive outlook.
鈥淭he process of grappling with that news is kind of like the central theme of this book, which is that life is unfair and it鈥檚 tough sometimes. But you have to accept that and focus on what you鈥檙e going to do about it,鈥� Jivani said.
鈥淎re you going to let that change your morals, change your outlook on life and drag you down into negativity? Or are you going to try your best to look at the world in a positive and constructive way and try to make the most out of your situation?鈥�
