TORONTO -- Making new year鈥檚 resolutions for 2021 may seem overwhelming, considering the tremendous challenges of this past year, but some self-help gurus are advising people to take the pressure off and change the way they make their resolutions.
Alberta-based life coach Michele Charles Gustafson suggested giving yourself permission to not set any at all this year and encourages the idea of 鈥渦nresolutions.鈥�
鈥淭here鈥檚 a difference between a goal and an aim. A goal is finite; you act, you win or you lose,鈥� Gustafson told CTV鈥檚 Your Morning on Wednesday. 鈥淎n aim is progressive; you act, you learn and then you act again.鈥�
She added, 鈥淢ost resolutions are stated as goals, in which case, you either win or you lose. And that鈥檚 where the pressure lays, that鈥檚 where the anxiety builds up.鈥�
Gustafson said that without shifting the focus of new year鈥檚 resolutions away from goal-making, people will feel like they鈥檙e failing at them.
鈥淚t鈥檚 really not motivating,鈥� she said.
According to Gustafson, a good strategy would be to take the focus off the goal and to think about what you would like to learn in the new year.
鈥淟earning is important and if you focus on the learning, you鈥檙e able to focus on what you鈥檙e doing, instead of what you鈥檙e not doing,鈥� Gustafson said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 all about reframing and putting it into a context where you鈥檙e acting instead of just hoping to make it happen.鈥�
As the new year approaches, Gustafson offered some tips to help give people gain more perspective. She said that quiet time with a journal and a pen to "have a conversation with yourself" is one of the most important steps to help reframe your focus in the new year.
鈥淵ou have to listen to yourself,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hen you need some supportive relationships around you [...] they鈥檙e going to help you stay on target.鈥�
