LONDON, U.K. -- I have on my desk a half-eaten dark chocolate Easter Bunny, a nearly-empty box of salted, caramel-filled Office Bunnies, a package of Divine Chocolate speckled eggs, a jar of salted peanuts and walnuts mixed, a package of anti-bacterial wipes, and a small plastic bottle of made-in-Canada foaming alcohol hand rub.
Notice the abundance of food, though I suppose chocolate really isn鈥檛 food food.
Easter was more than two tedious Pandemic weeks ago. Why does it take so long to polish off a hollow chocolate bunny? Anybody else ever notice that?
It鈥檚 10 a.m. Time for a little hunk of chocolate ear to go with my Twitter scrolling. The New York Times, now that demands a smooth-filled speckled egg. Before you know it, it鈥檚 10:15 already.
It鈥檚 what one does when trapped inside one鈥檚 house in a never-ending lockdown loop. Think of a poor gerbil going round and round on its treadmill.
Which brings us to Tuesday, the beginning of week six, under London鈥檚 version of feng cheng.
The 11 million people of Wuhan, China had never really heard the term feng cheng, until they were told their city was being sealed off, and they couldn鈥檛 leave their homes for 76 days.
I want to thank Don Weinland, Beijing correspondent of the Financial Times, for passing on that little mandarin expression. . Safer than London.
On that point, did you know this is like the umpteenth plague to sweep across London in the last 700 years? Remember the Black Death?
She: 鈥淲ell, I鈥檒l be! Isn鈥檛 that fascinating.鈥
He: 鈥淎nd it鈥檚 not the first lockdown either.鈥
She: 鈥淎nother surprise. Aren鈥檛 you just full of them!鈥
The most famous plague expert is probably Samuel Pepys, who wrote everything down in his legendary diaries.
鈥淕reat fears of the Sickenesse here in the City,鈥 he wrote, on April 30, 1665. 鈥淕od preserve us all.鈥 Today, he would have tweeted.
Plague houses were marked with red crosses on the doors. Parish clerks published 鈥淏ills of Mortality,鈥 announcing the weekly count of burials.
Alas, nobody kept track of the poor people who died. Just as today, many elderly victims of coronavirus are not being counted.
Pepys followed and documented the number of dead closely, noting 6,978 in one week: 鈥淎 most dreadfull Number.鈥
As Donald Trump dangerously mused about injecting disinfectant into human veins, Pepys turned to tobacco, which was said to purify the air and reduce bad smells.
Oh, and he gave up wearing a wig.
So tell us, already.
Well, because he bought it in a part of London that was a plague hotspot and might have come from the head of a victim.
Disgusting.
However, none of that disgust and fear and paranoia stopped Pepys from seeking the pleasure of his mistress, even as he noted: 鈥淥n every side is the plague.鈥
He also noted this about London:
鈥淏ut Lord! How sad a sight to see the streets empty of people.鈥
Much as it looks during the Great Pandemic of 2020.
