LONDON, U.K. -- Let鈥檚 get back to dogs for a moment.

I know, I know, that鈥檚 so last week. You have to tell me when this conversation no longer captivates your attention and you start clicking over to YouTube. I can take it.

Specifically, let鈥檚 get back to dogs on leads in London鈥檚 royal parks.

The subject has taken on outsize proportions in our shrinking world of house arrest, constant snacking, shortness of patience, and nothing better to talk about.

The rule is very clear. Dogs in royal parks must be kept on lead until further notice. We鈥檙e in a coronavirus emergency. Since the Queen has asked us all to do our part -- indirectly -- why are people ignoring her. Nothing personal I hope.

So here鈥檚 what happened this morning.

The air was calm, the sky overcast, and there was a woman absently walking her dog as if COVID-19 had never happened. No lead in sight.

I couldn鈥檛 just walk by and keep quiet, which others have suggested is a flaw in my personality, sometimes described as having a big mouth, or getting involved in something that鈥檚 none of my business.

As part-owner of a dog that is frustrated at being held back by three-meters of lead, this was definitely my business.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e supposed to have your dog on a lead,鈥 I said, trying not to sound whiney. I did anyway.

She looked at me with fake surprise.

鈥淩eally. I didn鈥檛 know that.鈥

Liar, liar, there are signs everywhere.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e hurting us all,鈥 I answered, laying on the guilt. 鈥淭hey鈥檒l close the park if we don鈥檛 obey the rules.鈥

We didn鈥檛 wait to see if she bent down and fastened her dog鈥檚 lead. Oh, the sheer satisfaction of feeling morally superior.

I have to ask: How many of you would have done the same thing? Was I being obnoxious, intrusive, or totally justified? Let鈥檚 have a show of hands clad in protective latex.

Of course, it鈥檚 not about the dogs, it鈥檚 about the people. Sara, Ruth, Louise and Mellissa discuss this a lot during their Zoom cocktail hours, which have replaced mornings together in the park. Drinks instead of dogs.

The bad people are joggers who spit, joggers who crowd the pathway, joggers who get too close with their mouths open, and the newest target of their collective indignation: people who refuse to put their dogs on lead.

This a war without end, the way coronavirus feels most days. Why can鈥檛 joggers run on the grass? Because it鈥檚 too muddy. Why are some walkers waving sticks at joggers? To keep them from getting too close. Why can鈥檛 joggers just stop running and stay at home like we鈥檝e all been asked to do? That鈥檚 not really a question, so much as a battle cry.

There is no middle ground it seems, to offer a pun. But there is a poison pill.

Ruth, who has planted flowers and trees in The Regent鈥檚 Park and walked her dogs there for decades, does not shrink from offering strong opinions.

鈥淚 think they should just close it.鈥

Nobody wants that, Ruth above all. Sadly it may happen.

England is expecting warm spring weather this weekend, and normally the royal parks are teeming with families on days like that. Prime Minister Boris Johnson has already pleaded with people to stay home, and essentially, be content with looking out their prison windows.

There鈥檚 always The Dog Lover鈥檚 Jigsaw Puzzle, I suppose.